Why St. Mark's? Denis & Charlie Talk About Family
Posted on by Denis & Charlie - new dads of twins!
Charlie and I have known for quite some time that we wanted a family together. Family was very important to us growing up, and as we began building our life together, it seemed like a natural decision to add a child (or children, as the case may be) to the mix. It took us a bit of time to get there... As some of you know, we tried adding to our family through adoption for over a year, but had no success. It was after we were paired with an amazing gestational surrogate in Oregon that we were able to welcome Mamie and Jim into our lives.
I say all this as a preface to the first question posed by Howard when he asked us to speak on the topic of stewardship: why did you visit? We visited St. Mark’s, among several other churches, because we knew that when we did have children, we wanted them raised in a church. Charlie was raised in a strong Episcopal congregation in Wilmington, North Carolina and I was raised Catholic. (As you may imagine, for us, there was not much of a decision between the Catholic and Episcopal churches!) So, some 6 years ago, soon after we were married, we began visiting Episcopal churches in Richmond. And I was shocked by St. Mark’s! People were friendly, they knew one another, they ran up and down the aisles during the Peace and they welcomed Charlie and me! This was not the Catholic church of my youth or the stiff coat-and-tie Episcopal church of Charlie’s upbringing. There were older people and younger people, people of all races, gays and straights all coming together to embrace this really fantastic message about an all-loving God. What an amazing concept! This was a church I felt comfortable in. This was a church I could see bringing my family to. And we did; depending on the Sunday, the Boisky-Riva clan can fill a pew.
And this begins to answer Howard’s second question: why did you stay? The reasons I just described are part of the reason we stayed at St. Mark’s. But there’s more to it than that. I will be the first person to admit I’m not really comfortable evangelizing. I’m a bit of an introvert and my faith is a private thing. However, I think it is important for me and for our family to stand up here and testify that I feel close to God when I am at St. Mark’s. I feel loved by God when I am at St. Mark’s. I feel that God hears my prayers loudest when I’m at St. Mark’s. I believe the prayers I prayed in this church are the reason Mamie and Jim are with us today. I stay for these reasons.
Moreover, I stay at St. Mark’s for Mamie and Jim. I want our kids to know God’s unconditional love. I want them to know this love from Day 1. And this is a community that embodies that love.
So, here’s the hard sell (and no, Howard did not ask us to include this): if you are in the position to do so, give to St. Mark’s financially. I fully admit that this is a totally selfish request. I want to keep this church vital so that Mamie and Jim can grow up in this community and so that children after them can as well. I don’t want to consign them to boring afternoons of CCD (the Catholic version of Sunday school). I want them to be able to take advantage of Youth Group. I want them to participate in the Nativity pageant. And I want them to do all of this here, in a community that has supported them since before they were born. I want them to do this here, at St. Mark’s.
Finally, I want to thank all you here at St. Mark’s. Thank you for welcoming and embracing Charlie and me 6 years ago. Thank you for welcoming our extended family, be they frequent or occasional visitors. Thank you for welcoming Mamie and Jim.